Trials and Hardships

As I look back on February 2025, I keep coming back to the one question: What do we do when life takes us completely off guard?

Let’s talk about hardships and suffering. I look back over my life, and I see the hard things I have been through; I see the absolute beauty that happened on the other side of working through each one. I started this life as an absolute marshmallow—deeply sensitive and empathetic. I don’t believe it was an accident. I believe they shaped my heart for others.  

None of us get out of this life without trauma and tragedy. Some people can let things roll off their back, some people like me are affected by little. There are so many that are affected but have learned the coping strategy of stuffing things and trying to move forward. It can be so scary to walk through some of the things we go through. But I have to say, without a doubt, if you walk through those things, instead of years of stuffing beginning to affect your health, you can walk free and stronger.

Last year, before I could come to any conclusions, I had so much running around in my brain, it felt much like an internal hurricane—thoughts colliding, unfinished, and hard to organize. Making sense of anything seemed out of reach. There were, of course, things I know I could have done better. I reviewed all the shame I felt, and the sadness. I had no idea of which direction my life is going, not knowing which way to point my rudder.

I know not all reading this share my faith, but my foundation is this: I am held by God. That I don’t have any control over what happens to me, but I do have control over how I respond. That being said, until we begin to look at how we reply, we can react in ways based on our pasts and all the buttons we have. Which, as we all know are not always the best reactions in the moment. The last thing I know is nothing that happens surprises God. He knows how this all comes together, even if we don’t understand.

As a way to try to ground myself, I started a Bible in a Year study at the beginning of the year.  Boy oh boy. Going through the book of Job (where God allowed his deep suffering) and Exodus where the story of Moses being born, sent down the canal in a basket, found by the Pharoh’s daughter, raised by her, God called him to take the Jews from slavery/captivity, and through God, the plagues and the parting of the sea, he lead them through the wilderness for 40 years. The hardships abound in the bible and on so many levels, as it is for us. But, just like for these men (and the Jews), through these hardships, if you have the desire, this is where your relationship with God begins/deepens.

So, I ask you– what do you do when you go through big events in life?

I want to encourage you:

• Foundation. I’ve talked about mine.
• Counseling. There are a great many counselors I can refer you to that with so many modalities they have, walking through those times in your life can be walked through without the pain you might associate with healing through the “big stuff.”  Please give yourself the gift of doing this. There is no way we can be the people we were made to be if we ignore the ways we are being held back.
• Coaching. If you don’t have deep stuff you need to work through, but you feel trapped or stuck in your path in life, coaching can be a pretty easy, empowering way to start walking in your strengths and purpose.  
• Journaling. If nothing else, journaling can help you organize your thoughts. I’ve never really been a journal-er. I have been one that will write and write and write and then put it away… and shred or burn later. Very rarely do I re-read what I wrote. This particular year were I had a focus on how the scriptures spoke to me, I’ve been able to go back and read and pull some really good reminders going back to write this for you.
• Gratitude.  In the middle of hardships, it is sometimes hard to be able to take ourselves out of the muck and mire. But, it is very important to find at least 3 things we are grateful for every day. Some days it can be you are grateful for the fact that you are breathing, you have a warm meal and you have clothing to wear. Sometimes you will surprise yourself realizing a blessing that slipped right by.
• Friends and/or family: Lean on those you can trust in the middle of your hardships. Walking through tough stuff is seemingly impossible trying to walk through it alone.

Finally, give yourself time. Healing takes courage and patience. You deserve the space to learn the lessons, healing the hurt, and become who you were meant to be.